Common Mistakes You Might Not Even Realize You Make
I cannot count how many times I have had people approach me for tips on interracial dating. Because of this, I decided to write a silly but very truthful mini article series on some of the things someone should never do when approaching an interracial relationship.
The first issue on my interracial dating advice series is going to center around approaching a black woman. The No. 1 thing you want to absolutely avoid when approaching a black woman is to assume that there is such a thing as “the black woman.” Whether this is done consciously or not, many of us have ingrained stereotypes within our mind about various groups of people.
This is not to say that we are evil or hateful people, it is simply a product of societal living. However, when it comes to dealing and approaching people who are of a different culture than you are, make sure you are checking your stereotypes at the door.
Although unintentional, I have been approached myself by a few men who assumed that because I am a black woman, I must be a part of “black culture.” Although culture is a part of various ethnic communities, do not assume that there is one “culture” all African-American women practice.
Doing so is NOT going to get you the lady! For instance, is she Trinidadian, Nigerian, American, European or Haitian? All of these people represent different nations that have vastly different cultures, ideologies and practices. Often, all of their differences are lumped together into what in this society we like to call “the African-American.”
So what is the moral of the story? You never want to assume that there is such a thing as “acting black.” I enjoy soccer just as much as basketball, and I like to play golf. A night out for me does not consist of dancing, but rather bowling or singing karaoke.
“Black culture” is a term we find is used loosely in our society and it serves no purpose other than to continue the perpetuation of certain stereotypes. If you are someone who has gotten the idea from either upbringing, television or that horrible BET station that all black people are part of one particular culture, well then please erase that concept from your mind ASAP.
I once had a man tell me from the first minute we spoke that he loves to watch BET. I told him that was his prerogative, but that I hated that channel, and then I turned around and walked away. Needless to say, you absolutely do not want that guy to be you! GOOD LUCK.